Ramblings of Insecure Narcissism

(a work in progress)

1.  She asks you to pay in advance.

2. You spend the majority of the session telling her the best food combinations from McDonald’s

3. You spend the half hour drive finding things to tell her and all you can come up with is stories about the idiocy of people you work with.

4. You are amazingly more successful than she will ever be.

5. You spend your session telling her about how everything is going to be okay.

6. She spends more time telling you about the drama of her patients than you do telling her about your own.

7. The cost to see her is more than half of a weekly paycheck.

8. You sit in session, bored almost to tears.  And if you do cry, she asks you ‘what’s wrong?’  You feel too bad to tell her that’s she’s boring you to tears, so you think of someone vaguely connected to you that died recently, and explain how painful it is.

9. The most you get out of it is comparing yourself to the others in the waiting room, being grateful that you are in better shape.